mobile navigation
Liz Bentley

Psychotherapist by Day/Comedian by Night Liz Bentley is a writer, poet, comedian, host, programmer, musician and psychotherapist. From the Royal Festival Hall to swimming pools around the UK, from Freud Museum to Madame Jo Jo’s, Liz’s act is certainly versatile. “Truly the most indefinable act I have ever seen, wouldn’t want to have missed it” Three Weeks “Bentley has such a warm, open personality that we’ve yet to see an audience fail to be drawn in and love her. The fact that she has a keen talent for observation and self-depreciation adds to the enjoyment and she is also, simply hilarious.” The Londonist

Posts by Liz Bentley

Poppy Day as Totalitarianism creeps in with pre-warning decades ago from The Dame, genius creatives, always ahead of their time

"I think we're on the cusp of something exhilarating and terrifying" The Dame, talking decades ago on BBC Newsnight about the Tinternet. (This is how I want to spell it, stop spell check keep changing it!!!) I think it's easier if I stick to poetry right now.... Poppy Day What does silence mean ...

Baby Blue beach hut

The Liz Bentley Delivery Woman with her Creative Future short-listed Poem that didn’t win, on National Poetry Day

    Chocolate Covered Honeycomb   We drive along the Esplanade, sea weed air like rancid cabbage Seeping through closed windows of the Austin Traveller My heart sinks. The tide is out. Again   Stoney beach with hard white dog shit hides between sand and shell Black tar smudges on legs and between toes The stains will remain till next ...

Liz and Rup on the beach

My Vaccinated husband with me the Unvaccinated Delivery Woman

I haven’t written for a while. Since writing the letter below last week, I realise only now how deep the effect of grief and rejection has been these last few months. It came to an almighty head at the weekend when a button was pushed and my shoulders could not ...

Liz and David Soul

David and Liz Bentley Delivery Woman’s Soul

Here is a picture of me with David Soul at the Happy Days festival in Enniskillen about ten years ago. I imagine in order to do a gig like this these days I’d have to do tests and be doubled vaccinated. Or is that just Southern Eire? I can’t keep ...

The Handjob Maiden

Liz Bentley as The Handjob Maiden Delivery Woman

Among other things, I am writing the sequel to Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. This book I am also converting into a screen play where I play the main character ‘Ofrupert’. The one and only Handjob Maiden left on the planet. The Handjob Maiden’s Tale is set in a totalitarian society ...

Liz and Rosie Wilby at 'The Breakup Monologues' book launch

Liz Bentley Delivery Woman – just keep on keeping on

Rosie Wilby’s book launch ‘The Break-up Monologues’. Quote: “Statistically speaking lesbians go through more break-ups in a lifetime than anyone else.” And Liz Bentley I'm only 2 per cent lesbian. My blog ‘From Essex to London in 101 boyfriends’ reveals 101 break-ups. Maybe that’s why Rosie and I have gotten on so ...

Liz and Julie at their masters degree ceremony

The Liz Bentley Delivery Woman contemplating education with Julie Andrews

This is a drunk me and Julie Andrews on our graduation ceremony at Goldsmiths in 2010, I think. Our Master’s degree in psychodynamic counselling. A course I was already lecturing on with no degree, just two GCSEs in English, music and a CSE in typing. I left school at sixteen and ...

Liz and Chad Varah

The Liz Bentley Delivery Woman with Chad Varah, founder of the Samaritans

This is the first of my new blog ‘The Liz Bentley Delivery Woman’. I’d been wracking my brains with what to do after ‘Liz Bentley waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man’ and then it became obvious. I write about my own experience anyway, so why not just admit that the ...

An old and new Tesco Delivery Man

More Tesco Delivery Men and a live gig!

I wasn't going to take any more photos. I was going to move on from this blog but my latest delivery man was a regular and keen to show his trainee the woman in Peckham who writes a blog for Disability Arts Online and takes pictures of delivery men. How ...

Tesco van arriving in the country

Liz Bentley and the Tesco van a year on

I’m at a loss That’s just it Elizabeth Kubler Ross It’s been over a year But these stages you describe Do not work For the here and now A year on. I’ve been looking back over my blogs. Should I publish them? Just in case the world crashes. Bury a book so it gets found in one ...

Liz, The Tesco Delivery Man and The Grape Reset

Liz, Tesco Delivery Man and the Grape Reset

Nearly twenty years ago, with financial help from the Millennium Awards, I set up weekly writing as therapy workshops for people with MS, ME, any other autoimmune disease, and carers. It was called ‘ManuScript Expression’. We met in a pod at the top of Peckham library. My mantra as the ...

Liz with Nanny State Beer and Tesco Delivery Man

Dentistry, bulimia and Nanny State Beer brought to Liz by her infamous Tesco Delivery Man

For twenty-five years I have seen the same dentist in Surrey Quays. I love my dentist. When I first started going her nurse was Jade Goody. Poor Jade. I am proud to remember on such visits to the dentist Jade had her fingers down my throat. This was of course ...

White woman in high viz jacket and white tesco delivery man holding either end of a green crate

Anti depressants, Tesco Delivery Man wearing matching In-security vests

I S O L A T I O N   In - Security Vest On Living At The Invisible Omniscient Neighbourhood Watch     My shoulder aches I am sat at a computer for too long The weight of the world rests on them Better than an MS attack That would be numb Too much Comfortably numb Not for me The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy journal comes out bi-monthly. Every now and again I am excited by ...

Tesco Delivery Man and January Cold Covid

Tesco Delivery Man, a Cold Liz and a Covid Word Search

COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID19 COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID1984 COVID COVID COVID COVID FEAR COVID COVID COVID COVID TEIRS COVID COVID COVID COVID TEARSFORFEARS COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID VITAMIN D COVID COVID ME COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID COVID ...

Liz holding non alcoholic wine brought by Tesco Delivery Man

Dry January, Tesco Delivery Man and coping in The New World Order

My thoughts are with everyone struggling with Covid (my paramedic niece has it right now) or any virus or anything, or anything, or any virus or Covid and/or anyone still recovering from the last lockdown, mentally physically. Anyone dealing with re-traumatisation, bereavement, anxiety, depression, insomnia, anger, frustration. Anyone struggling with ...

Liz, Tesco Delivery Man and The Great Reset

Liz, The Great Reset, Prodrome and the Tesco Delivery Man

I’ve started a YouTube channel. It’s called Prodrome – The Liz Bentley Show. I love the word prodrome. It means 'an early symptom indicating onset of a disease or illness.' My trainee paramedic niece (who is right now dealing with mainly stroke, heart attack and mental health) told me that ...

Black male Tesco delivery driver gives a thumbs up while a white woman in her 50s holds a huge box of washing powder

Tesco Delivery Man, I didn’t order Daz, and the Return of the Self

This Tesco Delivery Driver was happy to come in and help with my shopping, good job too, my family eco non-bio washing powder wasn’t available, this was Tesco replacement. I can hardly lift the box, my legs nearly gave in. A dry lockdown for me this time round. I wanted to ...

Peckham Rye Bowling Green Sign

Tesco Delivery Man, from shielder to non shielder

This Tesco delivery man didn’t want to be photographed, nevertheless, I showed him my blog and photos of many of his colleagues which he enjoyed. Because of lockdown, delivery men aren’t allowed into houses to help with shopping so I sit on the piano stool by the door and take ...

Tesco Delivery Man and Liz holding bananas

Masked Tesco Delivery Man suggested I hold something phallic

Every year, my parents and my sister would go on our annual family holiday and stay in a caravan in Cromer, Norfolk. One year, the Gibbons family joined us for a day. The Gibbons had three children, two girls the same age as my sister and I, and a younger ...

Tesco Delivery Man and I'm still in my dressing gown

Tesco Delivery Man and I’m still in my dressing gown. What is going on?

What a few weeks. Where shall I begin? Insomnia. Two weeks of waking up two hours after I went to sleep, then spending the rest of the night thinking, putting two and two together to make four, four and four together to make exactly eight, a hundred and a hundred, ...

Tesco Delivery Man, up close and personal

Tesco Delivery Man, up close and personal …

This week has been another difficult week. I'll start with the Tesco Delivery Man who totally brightened up the week, by the way, for the purpose of people who are offended that we are breaking the 'rules', I'll tell you, there is a possibility this photo was taken before lockdown, ...

White woman in her 50s reads a piece of paper whilst a Tesco delivery man stands in the doorway

Communicating with the Tesco Delivery Man, nearly in the dark

The nights are drawing in and so are our liberties, freedoms, human rights. I feel like I'm living in a dictatorship, not a pandemic. All these RULES, I don't understand, and can't keep up with. The rule of 6? I think Doris must have spelt it wrong and meant the ...

Tesco Delivery man

Tesco Delivery Man and Queueing

Tesco Delivery is great because it doesn't involve any queueing and the delivery men are personable, friendly, helpful. This week I had to endure queueing to great extent. A visit to the post office (traumatic), and a visit to the bank. At Barclays, I stood with my daughter patientley, meditating. ...

Tesco Delivery Men bringing plastic I have to have and they won’t take back

I hate all this extra plastic (you can't receive Tesco delivery shopping any other way now), there is no scientific evidence (and even if there was I am sceptical as science changes so fast, and each scientist changes their minds, just look into Pasteur and Bechamp) you can get a ...

No Tesco, too busy having fun at airports

...I am in one of the those 'little boy in the Emporer's new clothes' moods where I am screaming "listen all, Covid 19 is a political pandemic, the world has gone mad, don't be afraid, don't panic about anything, the more stress and cortisol you reap in your body the ...

Liz with Tesco Delivery Man

Waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man – Rejection and Resignation, and trying to find the sense in the Chaos

One of the reasons I love writing this blog for DAO, is that my work is totally accepted. I'm not told it needs structure, or that there have been more than 5 submissions an hour during lockdown. I love that I write and my writing gets published in it's sometimes ...

DVD eraserhead

I was out when Tesco Delivery Man came today, and home schooling ends this week

I was out when Tesco came last, my husband received the Delivery Man and put the shopping away. He did it really well, I could find everything and there wasn't any wierd food in wierd places.  I found carrots in the freezer recently. We are all very busy and very ...

A white woman standing at a door while a black Tesco delivery man brings crates of shopping to it

A birthday, a funeral and a Tesco Delivery Man

Last week I performed an 'Artist Presentation' for DAO. Here is the link if you weren’t able to join me live. Thank you to all who were there and asked questions. If there are any unanswered questions, please do comment below and I will answer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axBZxIuYBIQ On my birthday, the following day after ...

A white bald man stands at a doorway as another white bald man in a tesco delivery uniform stands on the other side with crates of shopping

Husband Rupert assisting Tesco Delivery Man

Here is a photo of my husband with the Tesco Delivery Man, in theory, as I am home shielding, I shouldn’t have been sleeping in the same bed as him, or enjoying baths together, or indeed eating together, for however many weeks it has been. Lord Baden Powell’s statue has come ...

Tesco Delivery Man and Van

Liz Bentley photographing Tesco Delivery Man, no selfie as was wearing my bikini

I didn't take a photo of me this time. I was sunbathing on our Peckham Patio in my bikini. When Tesco delivery man arrived I couldn't find my clothes, just like Barbara Windsor in the Carry on films, but I'm older than she was when she did that sort of ...

Liz Bentley antisocial distancing with the Tesco Delivery Man

Liz Bentley anti-social distancing with the Tesco Delivery Man and getting in touch with nostalgia and what that sometimes brings up….

Apart from this week being horrendous, and my worse lockdown week ever, some thoughts have emerged about the past and the present.  Many psychotherapists are working very much in the present, and so am I, to an extent. However, while some of us have been going through our old photos, ...

Liz Bentley with the Tesco Delivery Man

Liz Bentley feeling the grief, while waiting for the ever more important smiles from the Tesco Delivery Man

I really didn't know what to write about today. I asked my friend, and before she could answer, I said "Grief', loss", that's it. That really is the only sense I have right now, two deaths that are closer to me this week, one from cancer, one from CV, and ...

Liz Bentley missing the personal touch from the Tesco Delivery Man

Liz Bentley feeling sad her Tesco Delivery Man can’t come in, while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man for a long time

  It's strange now to think that Tesco Delivery Men have hugged me, got up close and leaned in when I've been doing a selfie with them. That feels such a long time ago now. I'm not isolating alone, in fact much of the week there are four or six of ...

Liz Bentley observing the 2 metres apart with her nearly extinct, Tesco Delivery Man

What a crazy world it has become. I've been busy, transferring my private therapy practice, online and working with Student Services at Lewisham College, by phone. I am very concerned about our mental health in this crisis, in my work I am hearing more about deaths from suicide, than from ...

The park is closed

Liz Bentley on our mad mad world, no Tesco Delivery Man

"You need to leave." Said the masked man. "Why?" Asked the mother, with two small children. "Coronavirus." He said. I watched while the family left the park and the man locked up. Opposite the park are flats, full of everyone, families, singletons, couples, pensioners, disabled, with no outside space. As I relish getting vitamin ...

Liz keeping safe from Crowona virus

Liz Bentley’s thoughts on International Women’s day and Crowona virus while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man

Fancy having a granola named after me. And how exciting that Tesco are matching Aldi prices on some of their 'own brand' goods. I'm so excited. Greta would be excited too as my mint tea bags came in a box, just a box, no cellophane package, just the box which ...

Liz Bentley holding cucumber with Tesco Delivery Woman

Liz Bentley and giardia while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Woman

How exciting it was when the delivery man was a woman, and what a lovely large cucumber she bought me, well in its sell by date. This weeks shopping was hard for me to do because I had nausea. I'm too old to be pregnant and I soon put two and ...

Liz Bentley being comforted by the Tesco delivery man

Liz Bentley being comforted by the Tesco Delivery Man

I've been away, it was good to come home to a Tesco Delivery. One of the issues of internet shopping is sizing. I have in the past got excited about offers on wine, only to find when delivered they were little bottles, the same with coleslaw, and silver hoop earrings ...

A mattress propped up against a wall

Liz Bentley doing a jigsaw and dry January while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man

If I'd have known giving up alcohol would have this effect, I would be a different person. I wouldn't have had so many mental fun times, boyfriends and tales to tell, but who knows what I may have been capable of? It's early days but re sleep, the first week ...

Liz Bentley with Tesco delivery man and 2020 diary

Liz Bentley wishes you a happy newish year while waiting for the Tesco Delivery man

Happy newish year. Fenton was my first Tesco delivery man of 2010. In the photo I am holding my 2020 diary. I always buy a Redstone diary and this year, the theme is 'Dreams of Europe'. The cover photo is a semi-naked Bridget Bardot sunbathing, on what looks like a ...

Liz Bentley and Xmas Tesco Delivery Man

Bah humbug from Liz Bentley while waiting for the Tesco delivery man

I struggle with Xmas, but try my best to do the 'Merry Xmas' thing. It's exhausting to be happy, excited and full of joy, when inside the familiar feelings of isolation and detachment whirl around my head. I have to fight to them off as best I can, I don't ...

Thoughts on the election and accessible shopping – no delivery man this time!

These last few weeks have been difficult. Chronic insomnia and flu viruses affecting me and most of my family.  The general election on Thursday falls on ‘Perverse Verse’ my show I host at the Ivyhouse in Nunhead. It was supposed to be our Xmas Stocking show, it's changed into something ...

Liz with Tesco delivery man and big ben advent calendar

Liz Bentley’s thoughts about her time working in the NHS while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man

I worked for over 10 years as a psychotherapist in the NHS, managing a counselling service at a Bermondsey GP surgery. My job consisted of giving all patients who were referred for counselling as much support as they needed.  We had good links with the Maudesly, the community mental health ...

Tesco delivery man and Liz

Thoughts on how would I ‘pick myself up’ now? While waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man (or occasionally Woman)

I love Ken Loach, I really, really love him. I’ve seen ‘Sorry We Missed You’ and ‘I Daniel Blake’ and last week I saw him on a chat show talking with a council tenant about the squalid accommodation and homelessness in our country. A man on the ‘phone-in’ to Ken ...

Liz with Joker card and Tesco Delivery Man

Extended thoughts about the ‘Joker’ while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man

We all have a ‘Joker’ within us, I know mine and it isn’t nearly as severe as the ‘Joker’s’ in the film, but it is plenty enough to gain understanding in my work as a psychotherapist. In Primary Care where I worked for 12 years, one of my old patients ...

Julie holding Simple soap with Tesco Delivery Man

Packing in Mental Health Day and London Cocktail Week and waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man with Julie Andrews

To celebrate World Mental Health Day, Julie Andrews helped me with my Tesco delivery and we got out of the house and went to see Alice Cooper and the Stranglers at O2. To celebrate London Cocktail week I had a cocktail with Julie at the O2 while watching Alice Cooper ...

A ration book

Why waiting is an issue for Liz Bentley, while waiting for the Tesco Delivery Man (or ocassionally woman)

It is normal to have presents on Christmas morning but my parents made us wait until 3pm. We had to eat dinner (which I began throwing up age 16), wash up, walk the dog and then we’d sit down in the cold front room and Dad would put the Christmas ...