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Blog - Katherine Araniello

Miracle of Life (a new line of work under the label ‘Really Bad Films’)


Banter between SickBitchCrips (SBC) and guest, Victim A

SBC: Look at that pile of shit, what d’ya think?

VA: Spurious nonsense, in my opinion.

SBC: Just gonna check what that means…
Yeah, it’s fake, innit?

VA: I wouldn’t trust that dodgy bastard as far as I can spit.

SBC: She’s a cunt. I wanna gag her.

VA: Don’t you think the money will go on fags and special brew?

SBC: It’ll go on coke and cock.

VA: Sweet and salty, nice combination. Don’t mind if I do. You?

SBC: I fancy KFC, don’t you?

VA: Not too keen on bird. Will give it a try though. If you like.

SBC: KatherineFuckCunt salivates loads.

VA: Sounds like a case of salmonella in the making.

SBC: Pink blancmange is softer.

VA: Easier to swallow?

SBC: Once swallowing, a little bit of suction may be required.

VA: I’ll remember that. It’ll stay with me.

SBC: It might stay on you, so make sure you have some tissues to hand.

VA: Always got one in my back pocket. Handy Andy WipeMeUps.

SBC: I prefer baby wipes, fragrance free, they don’t sting.

VA: Bit moist for my liking. If they’re fragrance free, does that mean they don’t stink?

SBC: Yeah. You’re my shining star?

VA: Nobody looks at me, so no, probably not.

SBC: I look up to you all the time.

VA: It’s hard not to. I’m lofty.

SBC: I’m wheelchair bound.

VA: Oh shit, I hadn’t noticed, how brave of you.

SBC: I’m withering away.

VA: How much withering have you left to do?

SBC: Imminent.

VA: Oh I look forward to the end.

SBC: Are you a necrophiliac?

VA: I’m always going to the doctors.

SBC: Kyphoscoliosis is a turn on for people like you.

VA: You never know which way it’s gonna go.

SBC: It’ll be a rollercoaster ride.

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Colin Hambrook
5 years ago

So many stars in your eyes – do they help to see through all the bullshit Katherine?

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