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Blog - Kelly Glover

One Thursday Morning with Crohn’s

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Foul vomitus
Erupts from my stomach
Purges from my esophagus
Burning my throat
Retching in the bowl

Breathe. Is it over?
Never even begun

Heaving. Heavy breathing
When does my yoga breath activate?
Hyper emesis
Again, again, again

Minutes. Hours
Gagging on the nausea

Regurgitating the pain
Over and over
Unyielding disgorgement
Blood vessels explode
My hands are tingling
Legs going numb

Help. I need help
Call. they come

Same questions repeated
Get up! she says
I can’t move, I can’t talk
Get me up! Can’t you see these jello knees?

The ride is cold and bumpy
I didn’t look at anyone but my son
His face buried in his pillow
As they pulled me away

No dignity resides, snot flows freely
Into my emesis bag, my forehead rests
My head bobs with the bumps in the road
The man beside me holds my back so I can sit up
To hurl nothing but noise into my little green bag

No fluid left to come up, only my peace
Being violently emitted
IV’s inserted into limp arms
BP high BP low

Still no help. 3 hours so far. 2 hours more before
Finally the drugs. I drop the bag I have been clenching
and spitting my insides into for so long
Head lulls. No liquid left for tears

Another scan. No answers. You are fine
But now there is something wrong with your heart
Yes I know it is broken
Working on repairing it and they tell me it’s still cracked in half
I’ll write about it. It’s the only way I know how to heal it

What have you got next for me body?
Kidneys? You got stones?
Pancreas, liver, are you two okay?
Hang on brain you are the best of what we’ve got
Hold on even when everything else rots

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