Rachel Bagshaw & China Plate present Where I Go (When I Can’t Be Where I Am), Online


Price: Free


A woman sitting on a bed talking directly to camera. Written captions beside her read ‘I am just you, with a dial tuned to a station that I can’t switch off’.

In April 2020, a woman sits alone in her house.

She lives with constant pain. Pain so intense she can hear it and see it. Pain with no apparent cause.

Remembering a past relationship, she wonders if she can ever communicate how she experiences the world in a way that someone else will truly understand.

Conceived and directed by Rachel Bagshaw, written by Chris Thorpe and produced by China Plate, Where I Go (When I Can’t Be Where I Am) is a powerful and intimate insight into the isolation of living with a rare, synaesthetic chronic pain condition.

Adapted from and created by the team behind the multi award-winning, critically acclaimed theatre show The Shape of the Pain. Filmed in isolation, with a gripping performance by Hannah McPake, composition and sound design by Melanie Wilson, film editing, D.O.P and video design by Joshua Pharo and production design by Madeleine Girling.

This film is best experienced via headphones for the full effect of the sound world. Integrated audio description and subtitles are included to provide access for all.

Available to watch on BBC iPlayer.

Supported by BBC Arts, Arts Council England, The Space and Battersea Arts Centre and screened as part of the BBC’s Culture in Quarantine series – Filmed in Lockdown

Integrated audio description and subtitles


BBC iPlayer

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