WALK MY WALK … the healing and meaning

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Lacey ‘Indigo’ Adigwu tells the story of a song, which lifted her from exile on the streets of London

headshot of a Black songstress taken from a side profile

Lacey ‘Indigo’ Adigwu

I was in temporary accommodation as a single mother and my New Age spiritual bypassing took a very sudden death. I was overwhelmed by our sudden move to Beacontree, Essex due to Kensington and Chelsea homeless persons unit assigning us to an exile of sorts. I had tried to avoid these pitfalls of misplacement and watched my dreams of secure accommodation literally die. I was on my own. All the work I had done for years within cultural communities and more recently holistic ones exposed my need for security to be impossible in the physical realm.

Feeling lost, afraid and betrayed I cried to the invisibles of the night for help and guidance. What do I have about myself to carry us through this situation? What will I do to make this right? “Music’ whispered an invisible of the night. I surrendered. With a tear streaked face, eyes puffy, uninhibited grief whilst I turned on my laptop…I opened the music programme, switched on my keyboard and waited.

Such was the ritual…I would wait for the music… I was guided to focus on the bass keys… I tinkered about while wiping snot from my lip. I begun feeling my face again, I was warm…then came the bassline. I was in my healing. Excitement and hope took over, I continued to arrange my production as the harmonies arrived, I recorded those, then the lyrics. I was speaking into my present, acknowledging my hopes and felt the trustworthiness of inspiration to stay the course. I worked through the night. Even in its rough stages, this song was everything I needed it to be. I laughed, I cried some more, I lit my makeshift alter and said thank you.. clapping my hands to no-one in particular, air kissing the dawn….I was grateful.

A frightful overwhelm transformed into one of my most triumphant pieces of music. I accepted the feelings of shame for feeling as tho I had failed by becoming homeless, I re-inspired confidence in myself by affirming my soul purpose to myself, my ancestors, the sky. I leaned on my internal feelings to guide me through a heavily depressive state. Things didn’t get easier after that, in fact it got worse, tho guess what… this song took me to Paris to perform twice, it took me to the BBC, a No1 on Colourful Radio and to a support slot at the Jazz Café.

All because I dared to question then trust the chaos of my circumstances, willing to be stripped bare, to begin again, really sit with my pain and my power, every spiritually fortifying memory id earned, gathered, assimilated as consciousness, integrated and believed. I had to relinquish a lot of projections masquerading as stories and embrace those that remained. Isolated and brought to my knees, I learned to walk again. My walk.

For my children and those who have had to be their own parents…my love to you always.

Sincerely, Indigo

WALK MY WALK written and performed by Indigo
Produced by Indigo / Bobby Zion

And it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk
And it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk

Feel my inner
That’s how it makes me feel
See our dreams to shore
Metaphysical
Got our hearts evolving
So keep the challenges coming
Nobody said it will be easy no

And why, why
Tell dem that its mother nature
Why, why do we heal this way
And I say why, why
Tell them that its mother nature
Why, why….why why

Hey it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk
And it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk

Spirit linger
And I hear the call
Need I need you more
Analogue and digital Zion
Naturally blessed this zone
Merging universe
Analyze the blood

So when I say why, why
I tell dem that its mother nature
Why, why do I heal this way
I said why, why
Tell them that its mother nature why
Why, why….

Hey it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk
And it took my all
It took my all
And it took my everything to walk my walk

It took my all…