three wee brexit rapid-response plays


sean burn is a tyneside-european playwright & gobscure is associate company ov greyscale theatre

He sent this piece in to DAO exonerating us to please perform / improv(e) these widely as possible, add to, argue over, love & rage!

p.s. exit (from brexit) aint anglo-saxon but latin

make my day punk (wouldnt yu love the following on we-tube?)
nigel farage seeking audience at buckingham palace gates

farage: (to prince phillip) yu come over here, steal our women, claim our benefits – three hundred & thirty four million pounds & rising. & yu take not one but five council houses – bucks palace, sandringham, balmoral, windsor & the palace ov holyroodhouse

prince phillip produces a shotgun

prince phillip: make my day punk

blackout as shotgun discharges 

negative thinking
post office counter, top end northumberland street, newcastle-upon-tyne

crying-woman: (buying) at last! such a glorious glorious thing has happened. i’ve been crying all morning. literally. finally we’ve taken back our country!

hijab-lass: (serving) what things are we taking back?

crying-woman oh not yu, us

hijab-lass: what are – yu – taking back?

crying-woman: our country ov-course!

hijab-lass:  yu wake up – three – four – five – year down the line, open curtains. take look – tell me what yu see

crying-woman well, um, er, er, um-er, ofcourse um-er

hijab-lass:  bent bananas in yr supermarkets for the first since 1973?

crying-woman: yes

hijab-lass: yr own currency?

crying-woman yesss!

hijab-lass: pity yu’ll have to send royal family back – greece & germany, boris back to turkey, farages wife germany & norman tebbit & family back to – where was it again? economic migrants yeah?

crying-woman exits weeping 

our landbridge back pretty-please, can we?
shirkers, low-achievers, scroungers, one to a line in sunderland library / art gallery

– everyone clear what we’re voting?

– bringing scottish border south

– alls southern lothian now!

– northumbria, tyne & wear, co durham, teesside

– further!

– eu to fund massive job programme rebuilding once-upon-a-land-bridge back from continent to us

– this time landing it further north

– home to sunderland

– full enviro-audit will ovcourse take place

– a show ov hands then, a show ov hands

– oh no, we’ve hand-held devices for voting, where have yu been?